why ‘giving a TED Talk’ should NOT be on your bucket list

(from a former ted speaker coach*)

Imagine being a dermatologist at a cocktail party. I bet the second people find out what you do, you spend the rest of the evening staring at strangers’ mysterious rashes or newly developed bump clusters, when all you’d really like to be doing is sipping a manhattan and talking about interest rates or Talib Kweli’s new book or birds.

I suspect lots of professions have their own version of this specific occupational hazard. When you work at TED, for example, regardless of your actual role at the company, the unsolicited input you receive from strangers comes in the form of Talk pitches. I’ve been pitched on first dates, in the dentist chair, and on approximately 589308 Lyft rides. I once almost missed a flight because my driver so desperately needed me to hear the end of his story that he wouldn’t fully pull the car over to let me out. I guess he thought I’d be so moved by his narrative that I’d march right into work and demand he be given a spot in the red circle at our next event…?

Don’t get me wrong: I love hearing peoples’ stories and ideas, and I think most people have a talk-worthy idea hiding in them somewhere, whether for a TED stage or another public speaking opportunity. That said, the vast majority of folks who randomly approach me with talk ideas fall into the same trap: their pitch focuses entirely on some story or experience that has impacted them, but they fail to articulate why that experience would matter to an audience.

The structure of the goal leads you in the wrong direction

Some research exists about the value of setting and articulating your goals. But in this instance, writing, “Give a TED Talk” or, “do more keynoting” on your vision board might do more harm than good. Here’s why:

1. It buries the lede. The good folks at TED are never (and I don’t use the superlative lightly) looking for speakers who just really want to give a Talk. They are looking for ideas: ideas that matter to an audience, ideas that change the way we see the world or introduce us to a new way of thinking, ideas that are unique or unexpected or, at the very least, specific.

   • The harm: Focusing on your goal of speaking at higher profile events (rather than focusing on your actual idea) draws your attention away from the most important thing a speaker can develop: a clear sense of how an audience might benefit from hearing what you have to say.

   • The fix: Identify for yourself what unique gift you have to give an audience. Articulate that gift in 1-2 complete, declarative sentences. THEN, only once you’ve gotten clear on your pitch, start working on figuring out which audiences might benefit most from the gift you have to give.

2. It centers you instead of your audience. Admittedly, we’re biased. At 3S, we’re on a mission to get rid of speaker-centered communication from all areas of life: from keynote stages, from brands to consumers, from 1-1 conversations.

   • The harm: Communication has only actually occurred when the receiver has engaged with - and understood - the sender’s message. Without the audience’s part in this process, all the messenger has accomplished is pontification.

   • The fix: Focusing on the needs of your audience (what matters to them, what context they’re coming from, what they already know) instead of what’s important to you will make it easier for you to pitch a talk idea that stands out.

Reframing will help you and your audience

Don’t misunderstand: Keep your eyes on the prize, and set ambitious goals! But when it comes to main stage public speaking, try to frame your goals in terms of your idea and how it will benefit an audience, rather than terms of a vague ambition to be on a particular stage.

Here are a couple structures you can try:

1. In my unique experience with _____, I have [learned, access to, perspective on] _______, and the gift I can give my audience is ________.

   • For Brené Brown’s first TEDx talk, the above example might look like this: In my experience as a social work researcher, I have learned that human connection is the root of self-worth, and shame gets in the way of our ability to connect. The gift I can give my audience is to help them realize that their vulnerability is not weakness, but strength: vulnerability is the source of our ability to cultivate connection.

2. Because of _____, I am uniquely [positioned/qualified] to give an audience the gift of understanding _______, which will help them ________.

   • For Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s enlightening 2009 talk, the above example might look like this: Because I am a writer from Nigeria who never saw myself represented in the books I read as a child, I can show my audience that access only to a single story about a culture or people limits our sense of what’s possible. This understanding will help them explore the single stories they’ve internalized and open their eyes to the exquisite complexities of others.

Framing your goal like this might mean having to make a little extra room on your vision board, but it’ll be worth it — especially to the person you’re pitching to (whom you should definitely NOT hold hostage in your Lyft, btw).

*Ashley Kolaya is the former Director of Curation and Coaching for TED Masterclass, TED’s official public speaking course.